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Leadership
The CEO’s eyes were filled with tears. I was sitting across from him in his office, bracing myself for the news he was struggling to share. “I just made a deal to sell the company, and most of my team will be replaced” he said. “They’re going to take this very hard. I feel like I’ve let everyone down.”
After a brief pause, I said, “The decision you made will certainly have an impact on your team. You’ve set a big wave into motion. But how each person responds to that wave is up to them. Some will let it wash over them and they will spin out of control for a while. But others will catch the wave and ride it to new heights. How each person reacts to that wave is ultimately up to them.”
In our years of research and consulting work, we’ve met executives who have been fired, laid off, or passed over for promotion. We’ve ridden with them through mergers, restructurings, and competition for top jobs. Regardless of how the wave was put into motion, we’ve found that one lesson is pretty universal: Even a dramatic career setback can become a springboard to success if you respond in the right way.
Here are three steps to help you rebound from a setback:
Step 1: Move from denial to acceptance
No matter how resilient they are, most executives process news like this by working through the five stages of grief. They start with denial that turns into anger. Next, they bargain over their fate, then fall into a period of depression. For many, it can take years to make it to the acceptance stage.
That’s partly because high achievers tend to have attribution bias. That is, they take too much credit for their successes and assign too much external blame for their failures. It’s a survival mechanism that helps to protect their self-esteem. Unfortunately, it also prevents learning and growth. The next time you suffer a setback, don’t get stuck in the grief cycle. Take action to explore how you contributed to what went wrong. Gather honest feedback from others and critically evaluate if you were culpable in the derailment.
Step 2: Look for meaning in your setback
When you’ve accepted reality, you’ll be ready to turn your loss into a win. Take advantage of the opportunity to do some deep thinking about who you are and what you want. Chances are, you’ve been climbing the career ladder for so long that you’ve gotten really good at doing something you don’t even like.
Many people fall into careers because of parental pressure or because they needed a job to pay off student debts. The Bureau of Labor Statistics finds that Americans spend over 37% of our lives at work. Over a working lifetime, that adds up to 99,117 hours. Use the power of the pause to allow yourself to look for work that has meaning beyond a paycheck.
Step 3: Move forward with confidence
After you identify possible next steps, it’s time to pick one. Admittedly, this can be a little frightening, especially if you’re venturing into unknown career territory. Reimagining your professional identity is one thing; bringing it to life is another. Remember, though, that you haven’t left your skills and experience behind with your last job, and you’ll also bring with you the lessons learned from the setback. You may also have revised your definition of success.
Use a setback as an opportunity to do some serious discovery work, then act with renewed conviction. Move out of the grief cycle and onto a path that will allow you to thrive.
Question: How have you taken advantage of a setback as a setup for a comeback?
Do you need guidance formulating a strategy for how you can rebound from a setback? Check out our Executive Coaching services or email info@executiveexcellence.com directly to set-up a free 30 minute consultation.
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People
Picture this. The CEO needs to make a decision about a cost-saving measure, and has turned to your team for advice. In support of the initiative to go paperless, she wants to eliminate either pens or pencils from use by employees across the organization. The program will be considered a success if it is rolled out in 30 days from today, 100% of employees have converted from the legacy writing instrument, and employee morale does not drop.
As ridiculous as this initiative may sound, the scenario sounds all too familiar. Teams are often given limited time, little supporting data, and high expectations to make decisions that will have enterprise-wide impact.
What is also familiar is that teams are working on several other initiatives with compressed due dates. When the topic of pens versus pencils comes up on the team meeting agenda, only one member of the team has a strong position. Let’s call him the Advocate. The Advocate has studied the issue, has prior experience with a successful rollout of a similar initiative, and has drafted a plan to share with the team.
When the issue is brought up at a meeting, the team members are scattered in focus, and don’t practice the listening skills that would take advantage of the Advocate’s expertise and passion. Instead, they fall into four types of listeners: Ignore, Volley, Judge, and Apply.
Ignore. The Ignorer must attend the meeting, but obviously has other issues pressing for his attention. He’s buried in his phone, but throws out occasional comments like “Uh huh” or “Wait. What are we talking about?” from time to time. His guiding statement is, “You’re not important to me right now.”
Volley. This person doesn’t really agree or disagree with the Advocate about this issue, but wants to be a part of the conversation to get his own remarks on record. He’s preparing his comeback while the Advocate is talking, and interrupts in mid-sentence. His guiding statement is, “You think that’s right/wrong, I can top that.”
Judge. She strongly disagrees with the Advocate about this issue. She’s constantly fact-checking, and making assumptions and conclusions before she hears out the Advocate. Her guiding statement is, “Here’s your problem.”
Apply. This person considers the Advocate a subject matter expert and is here to learn, but not ask clarifying questions or offer feedback. She pays close attention as she downloads information from the Advocate and her other teammates. Her guiding statement is, “What can I take away and keep myself safe?”
Scenarios like this play out all too often. The ability for teams to share information, and make decisions gets bogged down by the inability to listen. Instead, we accept unproductive listening behavior. We let Ignoring, Volleying, Judging, and Applying pass for listening. But to truly hear one another productively, we must practice listening with empathy, as follows:
Empathize. Team members don’t initially agree or disagree with the Advocate, but are present to the Advocate’s words and, more importantly, are open to being changed by what is said. They give their full attention to the Advocate’s words and body language. They stay curious, make an emotional connection, and forget their own agenda. Their guiding statement is, “What are you experiencing?”
Listening with empathy takes practice. It requires being fully present to the thoughts and feelings of others, setting aside our ego, and being open to information that may change our paradigm about an issue. As you go through your workday, take note of how many of the five levels of listening take place among your team members, and how your team would benefit by practicing listening with empathy.
Question: Which of the five levels of listening do you hear in your team meetings?
Download our 5 Levels of Listening free resource. Ask yourself which of these 5 levels of Listening are you participating in. If you find yourself regularly falling into the Ignoring, Volleying, Judging, or Applying levels of listening, take some time to remember the prescription for that level, so that you can become a more Empathetic listener.
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CEE News is designed to help you with the challenges you face every day by sharing infographics, white papers, best practices, and spotlighting businesses that are getting it right. I hope you’ll subscribe to CEE News and it becomes a resource that continually adds value to your walk as a leader. If I can be of assistance in any way, please don’t hesitate to reach out!
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People
Every week, we talk to leaders who are responsible for making sweeping organizational changes. Some are going through mergers. Some are opening new international markets. Others are leading major rebranding initiatives.
Change is pervasive in our society and a fact of life in organizations. It’s easy to get caught up in the sexy complexities of organizational change. So easy, in fact, that we can forget to connect with what our employees are doing each day to keep the engines running. If that disconnect is too great, we run the risk of creating lasting damage.
Gallup reports that 7 out of every 10 employees are disengaged at work. If your calendar is loaded with meetings about your latest strategic initiative, consider making room for small changes to engage with your employees. Take some time to show them that they are valued members of your team.
Here are 4 small changes that can produce big results:
1. Greet every employee you encounter, making eye contact and smiling, no matter how rushed you feel. Does this sound too simple to be effective? Remember that every employee wants to be recognized. At its most basic, that means seeing and acknowledging each person. This takes very little time, but can significantly improve the spirits of the entire organization. Be genuine though. Employees can spot a smile-o-matic from miles away.
2. Spend at least 15 minutes each day simply listening to what your employees have to say. Leaders spend so much time telling, that it is easy to forget the value of listening. Listen with your ears, your eyes, and your heart. With daily practice, you’ll begin to find out what matters most to your employees. Great leaders are great listeners.
3. Connect employees’ daily contributions to the organization’s strategic objectives. Granted, there may be some strategic initiatives in the pipeline that you are not ready to share with your employees. But employees can and should connect what they do each day to the published organizational goals. As a leader, it is vital that help employees connect the dots between what they do and what the organization is trying to achieve. Read more about proven ways to connect your employees with your strategic plan here.
4. Offer more praise than corrective feedback. Being negative comes naturally. But, according to this Galllup Business Journal article, “Recognition is a short-term need that has to be satisfied on an ongoing basis – weekly, maybe daily.” Every time we praise, it creates a burst of dopamine or internal reward system that makes employees want to repeat the behavior that was positively recognized.
Each of these four simple steps takes very little time out of your day. Find the time and take the time to make these small changes to keep your employees engaged.
Question: Which of these actions could you take today?
Download our infographic: From Buzz Phrase to Business Case: Why Employee Engagement Really Matters or email us at info@executiveexcellence.com to learn more about our workshops and corporate training opportunities for employee engagement. We’d love to hear from you!
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People
“Coming together is a beginning. Keeping together is progress. Working together is success.” Like many of the quotes attributed to Henry Ford nearly 100 years ago, this one continues to ring true today. Ford was known for his innovation, ingenuity, and resourcefulness that revolutionized transportation in America.
Today, the world is poised for another revolution that will not only transportation, but every other conceivable industry. In order to meet the overwhelming demand and associated stresses that these changes will bring, teams will need to effectively deal with conflict. When some of your team members have strong, conflicting opinions about what strategy to take, here are three steps you can take to put everyone back on track:
1. Separate the business issues from the personal issues. If personal styles vary greatly among your team members, administer an assessment like the Gallup© StrengthsFinder. Collect the top five strengths of every team member and put them on a matrix. Review the matrix with the team to help them see what personal styles they have in common, and where there are differences. Doing so will enable the team to build a common frame of references for dealing with individual differences.
2. Identify where the team is in violent agreement. If you haven’t taken the time to create a team charter, now may be a good time to stop and do so. The process of creating a charter will allow the team to establish a common set of values, purpose, goals, and expectations. Have the team sign the charter, give each member a copy, and post a copy in a common area. When conflicts arise, use the charter as a North Star to guide the team back to the what they mutually agreed to. Here’s a template published by Redbooth to get you started.
3. Pop the power bubbles. Sometimes, conflict involves power issues or strong personal agendas that require your direct attention. If you allow these to go unchecked for too long, it will erode confidence in your ability to lead the team. Sit down with any members of your team who may be testing your authority. Help them identify the sources of their conflict. Let them know that you will provide every resource you have available to help them, but that team cohesion is your first priority. Read this article from the Harvard Business Review to learn more about toxic team members.
Conflict can be healthy for a team when it’s channeled properly. Knowing how and when to intervene is a leadership skill that will pay off for you and your team.
Question: What approaches have you found helpful to create a culture of healthy conflict with your team?
Interested in getting more content like this? Subscribe to CEE News!
CEE News is designed to help you with the challenges you face every day by sharing infographics, white papers, best practices, and spotlighting businesses that are getting it right. I hope you’ll subscribe to CEE News and it becomes a resource that continually adds value to your walk as a leader. If I can be of assistance in any way, please don’t hesitate to reach out!
Uncategorized
Think about the last mistake that you made. Now think about what happens to your body when you realize you made the mistake.
Here’s an example. You’re happily going about your daily routine, when, “Oops!” you realize that you forgot to bring something that you need for your next meeting. Or, you remember a commitment you made that you forgot to deliver on. It could be something as innocuous as leaving a phone on a colleague’s desk, to something important like forgetting your anniversary. Regardless of the level of the mistake, in the moment it occurs to us that we did not do the right thing at the right time, what happens to our body?
We cringe. And sometimes, not subtly. Sometimes, we instinctively throw one hand over our head and block our chin with the other. Our shoulders curl, we squint our eyes, and we make ourselves smaller — like a prize fighter protecting himself from a blow. But, there is no physical blow. There’s only a mental blow that we manifest physically as shame for failure.
It’s something that we have done so many times over the years of making mistakes, that we don’t event recognize that we do it. It’s automatic.
The problem is, suggests Matt Smith in his TEDx Talk on Sustainable Happiness, that embodying our mistakes over and over can lead our thoughts to change from, “I made a mistake” to “I am a mistake.” The cringe mode is the embodiment of the mistake. We become the mistake.
When we allow ourselves to go into cringe mode every time we make a mistake, we put our bodies in a protective, inward posture that does not invite growth. Over time, the muscle memory of what it feels like to make a mistake keeps us from trying new things, from suggesting new ideas, or even from thinking new thoughts. We freeze.
Research by social psychologists like Amy Cuddy suggests that we may be able to change our own body chemistry — simply by changing body positions. What’s more, neuroscience studies show that our brains are filled with neurons that mirror not only the actions, but the emotions, of those around us. So, going into self-imposed cringe mode can cause those around us to replicate the shame we feel for making mistakes.
So how do you rewire your impulse to protect yourself from cringe mode when you realize you’ve made a mistake?
Take a Failure Bow. If you’ve ever watched an Olympic gymnast recover from a shaky landing after a vault jump or a high beam routine, you’ve seen the Failure Bow. The next time you catch your body going to automatic cringe posture from making a mistake, stop yourself and immediately switch to a Failure Bow. You can do it like an Olympic gymnast. You can do it like a trapeze artist. You can do it like a magician. You can even add a “Ta Da!” for emphasis.
Bring Yourself Back to the Present. The Failure Bow develops the skill of bringing your attention back to the present moment and resets your focus. It’s impossible to cringe in shame and bow like a gymnast who’s just stuck the perfect landing at the same time. Likewise, it’s impossible to feel shame and get locked in the past if your body is facing open and outward.
Acknowledge the Learning Path. The purpose of the Failure Bow is not to celebrate mistake making. Its purpose is to acknowledge the facts of a mistake, then create an alternative interpretation of those facts. “I failed because I’m lousy at this” tells a radically different story than “I’m bravely walking a risk-filled learning edge.” The former compounds the mistake by embodying it — the latter makes it a natural part of learning.
We work in a world where innovation is a requirement for survival. We need to be creative, take chances, and innovate. Mistakes are a natural part of that process. The next time you find yourself going into cringe mode, celebrate the learning path by taking a dramatic Failure Bow. You’ll reset the shame, acknowledge your vulnerability, and move forward with humor.
Question: How do you rewire your impulse to protect yourself from the shame that comes with the innovation process?
