![How to Give Thanks Like a Boss]()
Leadership
We’ve all come across them. Those leaders who people naturally gravitate toward. Though it seems counterintuitive, the magnetic effect these leaders have on people is not because of how people feel about the leader. It’s because of how the leader makes people feel about themselves.
These leaders have mastered two basic facts about people. Fact 1: Every person matters. Fact 2: Every person wants to feel valued.
As Thanksgiving approaches, this is an excellent time to review the skills necessary to express meaningful gratitude to your team. Here are three skills that will yield the highest return:
1. Write a Note. Do not. I repeat. Do not mistake a thank you email for the real thing. Handwritten thank you notes are about relationships. Emails are about transactions. When you take a little extra time to write a personal message to team members to acknowledge your gratitude, you are also acknowledging that they are more than just a tool. They are human beings who matter and are valued. If your note writing skills are rusty, here’s a quick primer to get you started.
2. Make It a Habit. When it comes to business, we can fall into the trap of not seeing people who come in, get the job done, and don’t require constant attention. We take these employees for granted and just assume they don’t need a show of gratitude. To turn your attention to those who don’t ask for it, take a few minutes each morning to make a list of three team members you appreciate and why. Over time, you’ll begin to cultivate of habit of putting yourself in a gratitude mindset.
3. Give People Sincere Appreciation. People who don’t feel appreciated are often the first to burn out or jump ship. It only takes a minute to recognize a team member for making a positive contribution. But, doing it right requires more than the occasional “Attagirl!” Give timely and specific praise to show your team members how you value their contribution. Here’s a quick demo to show you how.
One final secret to mastering leadership gratitude – you can’t fake it. Leaders who genuinely care about their team members will invest the time to help each one feel valued. Make it a habit to sincerely recognize their efforts. Every day is an opportunity to help people see the best in themselves and feel like a valued contributor to the team.
Question: Have you had a leader who gave you a handwritten note of thanks? What did you learn from that experience?
Leadership rolls downhill. What standards do you model daily? Join me and Dr. Tony Baron at our next Re:Imagine Leadership Summit April 27 in San Diego!
Success doesn’t happen by luck. It’s intentional. Without a leadership roadmap, your team will wander aimlessly through shifting priorities leaving them confused about the purpose of their jobs. Come to a one-day immersion in transformative leadership crafted to inspire and engage you. Have questions? Email me directly at snasim@executiveexcellence.com.
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Leadership
Over the past 10 years, I have been honored to explore and debate the essence of power with Dr. Tony Baron. Specifically, how power impacts leadership, how leadership impacts culture, and, ultimately, how culture impacts performance.
With a double doctorate in psychology and theology and decades of executive coaching experience with Fortune 100 companies, you can imagine the depth and breadth that Tony adds to the subject. We are currently co-authoring a book that combines Tony’s scholarship and my straight talk about the challenges faced by today’s leaders. Meanwhile, I will be sharing guest posts by Tony over the next several months to give you a taste of what it’s like to have an amazing colleague and friend like Tony Baron. – Sheri Nasim
Nobody likes to be labeled. And nobody likes to be misunderstood. Given the context of our national dialogue recently, this may be a good time to talk about how to respond, instead of react, when we are misunderstood.
I am not talking about times when there is a lack of clarity in communication. I am talking about when others judge you based on misinformation they have received (or conceived) that results in them questioning your character.
The injustice hurts deeply. But, as leaders, our ultimate responsibility is to not to react, but to respond by modeling the behavior we would like to see in others. It is a true test of how we use power. Will we use our position to force others to bend to our will? Or, will we use our position to be practice the discipline of transformative leadership?
Here are four ways that you can practice transformative leadership and respond, rather than react, when others attack your character:
1. Practice the Discipline of Not Having the Last Word
A transformative leader influences others by modeling appropriate behavior not only in positive situations but also in periods of criticism. When people attack your character, they often want to engage you in a verbal volley. Don’t do it. Transformative leaders have the discipline to not have the last word.
2. Practice the Discipline of Humility
An attack on your character may immediately send you into defense mode. If you have power, you may be tempted to use that power to punish the person who is attacking you. However, a transformative leader must refrain from presuming you can silence another person, and refrain from letting others know how wronged you feel. Humility comes from the word “grounded.” A grounded person reflects deeply to see what truth may be in the midst of falsehoods, what path may be used for reconciliation, and what direction you need to follow.
3. Practice the Discipline of Civility
A transformative leader understands that people who attack their character often betray their own fears and anxieties in the process. When people spew words at you in anger, recognize the pain or anxiety behind their words. Pause to reflect before you engage, then practice the discipline of civility. In Reclaiming Civility in the Public Square, civility is defined as “claiming and caring for one’s identity, needs, and beliefs without degrading someone else’s in the process.”
4. Practice the Discipline of Wisdom
Knowledge is a compilation of things true, maybe true, and definitely not true. Knowledge can lead to pride and a sense of superiority over others. Wisdom, on the other hand, is insight into reality. Reality is the only thing a transformative leader can count on. People of wisdom seek reality – not illusions, innuendos, or ill feelings.
So, to those who feel you have been misunderstood, take courage in the midst of adversity. Seek reconciliation. Practice the discipline of not having the last word, humility, civility and wisdom.
Have you felt misunderstood recently? Which of these practices might help you respond instead of react?
Dr. Tony Baron is Distinguished Scholar-In-Residence at Center for Executive Excellence and an internationally recognized speaker, writer, corporate consultant, professor and the San Diego Director of Azusa Pacific University Graduate School of Theology.
Dr. Baron is the author of six books, including The Art of Servant Leadershipand a workbook manual co-written with noted author and business leader Ken Blanchard. Throughout his career, he has worked with hundreds of companies including Ford Motor Company, Coca Cola Company, Warner Brothers Studios, and Boeing, among many others.
Driven by the premise that excellence is the result of aligning people, purpose and performance, Center for Executive Excellence facilitates training in leading self, leading teams and leading organizations. To learn more, visit us today at www.executiveexcellence.com or subscribe to receive CEE News!
Learn more about how you can build a roadmap for transformative leadership at our next Re:Imagine Leadership Summit April 27 in San Diego! Success doesn’t happen by luck. It’s intentional. Without a leadership roadmap, your team will wander aimlessly through shifting priorities leaving them confused about the purpose of their jobs. Come to a one-day immersion in transformative leadership crafted to inspire and engage you.
![How to Give Thanks Like a Boss]()
Leadership
According to a recent article in The Atlantic, today marks the 597th day of the U.S. presidential election. A Pew Research study published in July found that 60% of Americans were exhausted by the barrage of election news. And that was four months ago.
Since then, Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton accepted their parties’ nominations, the DNC Chair resigned, the candidates went head-to-head in blistering debates, a tape was leaked of Trump talking about groping women, Clinton walked a legal tightrope over her email scandal, the North Carolina GOP office was firebombed, and Trump is keeping the world in suspense about whether he will accept the election results.
Your team is not immune to the stress reported by 52% of Americans over the presidential election. Regardless of the election results at the end of today, regardless of the fallout that will take place over the next weeks, some members of your organization (possibly even you) will be very unhappy with the results.
During times of uncertainty, it is the leader’s role to bring order to chaos, calm nerves, and manifest a non-anxious presence. Here are three things you can do today to keep yourself and your team focused:
1. Do a walkabout. Leadership builds confidence. Leaders routinely have to make important decisions, often under conditions of uncertainty, that affect many people over a long period of time. Operating under those circumstances helps leaders navigate the peaks and valleys that come with the job. But, your team members may not have a built-in compass. The stress of deciding who to vote for, or of deciding not to vote, can weigh heavily on them today.
Make sure that you build time into your day to do a walkabout. Letting your team see you in the halls will serve as an instant stress relief. You’ll remind them that they are not alone, and you will get through this together.
2. Picture a monkey, an ice cream cone, and an Italian graduate student. In the late 1990’s neuroscientists in Parma, Italy, were studying cells in a monkey’s brain that fired only when the monkey raised its arm. One day, a research student walked into the lab with an ice cream cone. When he absentmindedly raised the cone to his mouth, the monkey’s brain cells for raising its own arm were triggered. Researchers have since found that the brain is filled with neurons that mirror not only the actions, but also the emotions, of those around us. These mirror neurons operate as antennae, allowing us to pick up signals in our social world. When we detect the emotions of another person through their actions, our mirror neurons replicate those emotions.
As you go about your day today, your team will be picking up on your signals. Remember that both your verbal and non-verbal patterns are being imitated and reflected by your team members.
3. Talk about the Johnson Wax Company. In 1886, Samuel Curtis Johnson was a parquet floor salesman in Racine, Wisconsin. One day, he realized that there were more floors than there were products to keep them clean. He mixed his first batch of Johnson’s Wax in his bathtub, abandoned the flooring business and started selling wax as fast as he could make it. Since then, five generations of Johnsons have led the now $10 billion company, making it one of the oldest family-owned businesses in America. This year marks SC Johnson’s 100th anniversary. The company has weathered the Great Depression, World War I, World War II, the Civil Rights Era, 9/11, and 23 presidential administrations.
Whatever happens today, life will go on. Let your team know that this is a season, not a catastrophe.
Question: Are your team members feeling anxious today? What are you doing to help them through it?
Interested in getting more content like this? Subscribe to CEE News!
CEE News is designed to help you with the challenges you face every day by sharing infographics, white papers, best practices, and spotlighting businesses that are getting it right. I hope you’ll subscribe to CEE News and it becomes a resource that continually adds value to your walk as a leader. If I can be of assistance in any way, please don’t hesitate to reach out!
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Leadership
If you ask a third grader what she knows about President Lincoln, she might draw you a picture of a tall, lanky, bearded man wearing a black suit and a stove top hat. If you ask a ninth grader the same question, he’ll likely recall that Lincoln was America’s president during the Civil War. When pressed, he may add that the Civil War was fought between the north and the south over the issue of slavery.
But, if you turn back the pages of American history, you’ll find that President Lincoln saw the Civil War in a much larger context. Not only was America wrestling with the question of slavery, Lincoln felt the Civil War was nothing short of a test of whether a country was capable of governing itself. The world was watching and waiting for the experiment to crumble. The republic set forth by the founding fathers was on the brink of failure – an asterisk in history – an 80-plus year rebellion that would inevitably revert to rule by monarchy.
Lincoln knew that preserving the union could only happen by tapping into the power of diversity. Here are three lessons in diversity that today’s leaders can take from Lincoln’s playbook:
1. Assemble a Team of Rivals. In her book, Team of Rivals, author Doris Kearns Goodwin describes how Lincoln brilliantly assembled a cabinet from his Republican opponents to preserve the Union and win the Civil War. None of these men had high regard for Lincoln. But, Lincoln did not want a group of “yes” men to agree with his every decision. He wanted a cabinet of passionate advisors who could shed light on the complex issues facing the country, were free to question his authority, and who were unafraid to argue with him.
The Lesson. Surround yourself with smart people and encourage them to challenge your ideas. Relying on people who think just like you can lead to group think and rubber stamp leadership. Neither you nor your organization will benefit.
2. Allow Your Ideas to Evolve. Lincoln was unsure what to do if slavery ended. For most of his career, he saw slaves as a group of people who had been uprooted from their own society and unjustly brought to America. He saw no way for freed slaves to live peaceably among white Americans. Instead, Lincoln advocated for colonization – sending a majority of the African-American population to settle in Africa or Central America. In the last two years of his life though, he began to see the possibility of diversity. Freed slaves were joining the Union Army and serving in the Navy by the thousands. Black leaders argued that African-American were as much natives of the country as whites. By the time the Emancipation Proclamation was issued in 1863, all mention of colonization was eliminated.
The Lesson. When you take a leadership position, you become privy to information that you did not have before. Don’t let your bias keep you from holding onto outdated opinions when presented with new facts from diverse sources.
3. Listen Intently, Then Be Decisive. Lincoln’s cabinet often debated slavery late into the night. Finally, he made up his mind. He brought the cabinet together and told them he no longer needed their thoughts on the main issue, but he would listen to their suggestions about how best to implement his decision and its timing. Some members still did not support Lincoln’s decision, but they felt they’d been heard.
The Lesson. If you wait to make a decision until you have perfect information, it’s no longer a decision, it’s a foregone conclusion.
The most successful leaders know how to leverage the power of diversity. They seek out diverse perspectives, evolve their opinions as they get new information, and know when to stop collecting input and be decisive.
Question: Which of these lessons in diversity can improve your leadership journey?
Join us at our next Re:Imagine Leadership Summit April 27 in San Diego! Success doesn’t happen by luck. It’s intentional. Without a leadership roadmap, your team will wander aimlessly through shifting priorities leaving them confused about the purpose of their jobs. Come to a one-day immersion in transformative leadership crafted to inspire and engage you.
Interested in getting more content like this? Subscribe to CEE News!
CEE News is designed to help you with the challenges you face every day by sharing infographics, white papers, best practices, and spotlighting businesses that are getting it right. I hope you’ll subscribe to CEE News and it becomes a resource that continually adds value to your walk as a leader. If I can be of assistance in any way, please don’t hesitate to reach out!
![How to Give Thanks Like a Boss]()
Leadership
Over the past 10 years, I have been honored to explore and debate the essence of power with Dr. Tony Baron. Specifically, how power impacts leadership, how leadership impacts culture, and, ultimately, how culture impacts performance.
With a double doctorate in psychology and theology and decades of executive coaching experience with Fortune 100 companies, you can imagine the depth and breadth that Tony adds to the subject. We are currently co-authoring a book that combines Tony’s scholarship and my straight talk about the challenges faced by today’s leaders. Meanwhile, I will be sharing guest posts by Tony over the next several months to give you a taste of what it’s like to have an amazing colleague and friend like Tony Baron. – Sheri Nasim
Breaking Bad, is a universally acclaimed award-winning drama built on chemistry, cancer, and crime. It’s also the story of the erosion of a man’s soul as he gains power. As the protagonist, Walter White (played masterfully by four-time Emmy Award winner Bryan Cranston) is a mild mannered high school chemistry teacher who is struggling financially.
In the first episode of Season 1, White is stunned to learn he has inoperable lung cancer. Soon thereafter, his wife tells him she is pregnant. Desperate to make sure his family will not be financially insolvent after he is gone, White turns his chemistry skills into what will catapult him into becoming a meth lab king. A series of criminal circumstances rapidly moves White from valuing family above all to an earthquake-like destruction of his values as he gains more and more power.
Scott Meslow, The Atlantic writer, believes that “Walter White was always a bad guy.” Whether or not you agree with Meslow, you would likely agree that power has a psychological, emotional, and spiritual impact on all humans.
As someone with over 40 years of experience coaching leaders, including 75 of America’s Fortune 100 companies, the impact of power on the soul is a subject that I am forever dealing with. Here are five critical factors that I have identified that can propel people in power to lose their soul. Each one is progressively damaging and damning.
1. Transferring Status Affirmation
Power creates status. Status can lead to a sense of superiority. When the affirmation by employees is no longer enough, some leaders seek to transfer and expand their status affirmation to the public. They join elite clubs, they make showy donations to non-profits, they get write-ups in the media. The soul’s appetite for affirmation can be insatiable.
2. Increasing Social Disconnectedness
The research is definitive. Employees tend to withhold information from leaders out of fear. They fear their comments will be taken personally. They fear they’ll seem disrespectful. They fear they’ll lose their job. When people take leadership positions, they can become disconnected from their employees and, ironically, from the very group they are put in a position to serve. The soul is no longer nurtured by the truth.
3. Empathy Deprivation
U.C. Berkeley Professor Dacher Keltner documents how leaders can become deprived of empathy in his new book, The Power Paradox. Keltner’s research confirms the axiom that “absolute power corrupts absolutely.” The reason for this corruption lies in neuroscience. Under absolute power, the frontal cortex is suppressed by the neural transmitters that produce empathy. When we lose the ability to empathize, we treat people like tools or overhead instead of fellow human beings. We disconnect with them as people with dignity, families, and their own personal dreams. The soul is deprived of empathy.
4. Downplaying Personal Responsibility
Leaders with a growing appetite for power maximize the mistakes of others and minimize their own impact on performance. They launch activities for others without considering the resources needed to accomplish their ideas. They procrastinate then switch priorities in mid-project. When they learn about delays in progress, these leaders blame others and question the loyalty of their team members. The soul is separated from response-ability.
5. Reality Distortion
As the soul dies and nurturing relationships erode, the power-hungry leader begins to change the narrative to justify his actions. I have seen leaders fire highly qualified, loyal employees and accuse them of being incompetent rather than listen to their counsel to face reality. I have seen leaders constantly shuffle key players like a shell game to hide the reality that the person who needs to go or change significantly is himself. The soul loses touch with its why.
You don’t have a soul, you are a soul. Don’t let the need for power remove you from the critical care your soul needs.
Question: Is your soul dying a little bit each day?
Dr. Tony Baron is Distinguished Scholar-In-Residence at Center for Executive Excellence and an internationally recognized speaker, writer, corporate consultant, professor and the San Diego Director of Azusa Pacific University Graduate School of Theology.
Dr. Baron is the author of six books, including The Art of Servant Leadershipand a workbook manual co-written with noted author and business leader Ken Blanchard. Throughout his career, he has worked with hundreds of companies including Ford Motor Company, Coca Cola Company, Warner Brothers Studios, and Boeing, among many others.
Driven by the premise that excellence is the result of aligning people, purpose and performance, Center for Executive Excellence facilitates training in leading self, leading teams and leading organizations. To learn more, visit us today at www.executiveexcellence.com or subscribe to receive CEE News!
Join me and Sheri Nasim at our next Re:Imagine Leadership Summit April 27 in San Diego! Success doesn’t happen by luck. It’s intentional. Without a leadership roadmap, your team will wander aimlessly through shifting priorities leaving them confused about the purpose of their jobs. Come to a one-day immersion in transformative leadership crafted to inspire and engage you.
![How to Give Thanks Like a Boss]()
Leadership
“It’s sometimes surprising to discover the cumulative progress women have made in recent times. Just think. What field has not been enriched by females – in art, theatre, finance, politics, law, entrepreneurship, science? The list is as impressive as it is enlightening. To realize that we are no longer pioneers. The startling exception. The first to fly, or swim, or sail prodigious distances in bad weather. No longer the first to be elected, the first to discover cures in medicine, or the first to untangle problems in science, math or physics. No. We are multitudes, and society is clearly the better for our peaceful invasion. There is no modernity and no justice without the talent, passion, and the steely intelligence of women.” – Toni Morrison
No matter what your political views are, the question of women in power has been brought to the international stage during this election season in the U.S. Below are insights from six women driven by their inner strength, passion, and drive to make a difference. Their examples can serve to motivate both women and men to set aside their fears and become better versions of themselves.
1. Alicia Keyes, 15-time Grammy award winner
Her experience: Strong women like my mother showed me that you can claim what you want out of your life. I loved the concept of rebel – of challenging the mainstay.
Her advice: When you erase fear from your vocabulary, you can’t fail.
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2. Aimee Mullins, Record-breaker at the Paralympic Games in 1996 and fashion model
Her experience: I am a double amputee, but whether or not I am disabled is a subjective opinion. I determine what I am capable of doing.
Her advice: Adversity isn’t an obstacle that we need to get around in order to resume living our life. It’s part of our life.
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3. Gloria Allred, Discrimination attorney and feminist lawyer
Her experience: In civil rights, we are not politicians, but attorneys. What we seek is often not popular at the moment, but later it is. I have a duty to help victims win change.
Her advice: If people call you names, see that as a victory, because you know they don’t have a good argument on the merits.
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4. Shonda Rhimes, Producer of 3 Emmy-nominated shows and author of The Year of Yes
Her experience: I was dictating stories into a tape recorder when I was 3 years old. After college, I moved into my sister’s basement and tried to figure out what I wanted to do. There was no plan. It was both breathtaking and terrifying.
Her advice: Dreams do not come true just because you dream them. It’s hard work that makes things happen. It’s hard work that creates change.
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5. Sarah Blakely, American businesswoman and founder of Spanx.
Her experience: I had $5,000 in savings, an idea, and some cellulite. The moment you have an idea, that is when it’s very vulnerable. It’s also the moment that we want to turn to a friend, a co-worker, a husband or wife, and share it. And out of love and concern, million dollar ideas get squashed.
Her advice: Be willing to make mistakes. The worst thing that can happen is that you become memorable.
6. Madeleine Albright, Former U.S. Secretary of State
Her experience: When I became Secretary of State, the challenge was not so much how foreign leaders would regard me. They knew that I represented the United States (and I arrived in a big plane). In some ways, I had more problems with the men in our own government.
Her advice: It’s a wonderful time of opportunity, but don’t forget how hard it’s been for women. We need to respect each other, and we need to help each other.
Question: What women have inspired you to become a better version of yourself?
Interested in getting more content like this? Subscribe to CEE News!
CEE News is designed to help you with the challenges you face every day by sharing infographics, white papers, best practices, and spotlighting businesses that are getting it right. I hope you’ll subscribe to CEE News and it becomes a resource that continually adds value to your walk as a leader. If I can be of assistance in any way, please don’t hesitate to reach out!
